Unvarnished Tales from Billy Joel: A Look at His Suicide Attempts and Personal Turmoil
Billy Joel shares his past struggle with suicidal thoughts, describing an instance where he felt like he didn't want to live anymore and attempted to end his life.
Billy Joel's new documentary, Billy Joel: And So It Goes, peels back the curtain on one of the most heart-wrenching chapters of his life. The first part of the film premiered at the Tribeca Festival in New York City on June 4, revealing a raw, personal glance into a time when the legendary performer nearly lost himself.
Now 76, Joel courageously shares in the documentary that he tried to take his own life twice in his early 20s, following an affair with his bandmate Jon Small's wife, Elizabeth Weber.
During his tenure with the band Attila, Joel lived with Small, Elizabeth, and their young son. As he recounts, his relationship with Elizabeth developed gradually. "Bill and I spent a lot of time together," Elizabeth admits, referring to it as a "slow build." When Small sensed something was amiss, Joel admitted, "I'm in love with your wife."
"I felt very, very guilty about it. They had a child. I felt like a homewrecker," Joel confesses. "I was just in love with a woman, and I got punched in the nose, which I deserved. Jon was very upset. I was very upset."
This confrontation ultimately led to Attila disbanding and created a rift between the two friends. Elizabeth departed, and Joel descended into a dark abyss. "I had no place to live. I was sleeping in laundromats, and I was depressed I think to the point of almost being psychotic," he recalls.
"So I figured, 'That's it. I don't want to live anymore.' I was just in a lot of pain, and it was sort of like why hang out, tomorrow is going to be just like today is, and today sucks. So, I just thought I'd end it all."
His sister, Judy Molinari, who was working as a medical assistant at the time, offered him sleeping pills to help him rest. But Joel had a different plan in mind. "But Billy decided that he was going to take all of them... he was in a coma for days and days and days," Judy remembers, fighting back tears, as per People.
"I went to go see him in the hospital, and he was laying there white as a sheet. I thought that I'd killed him."
Joel described that moment as "very selfish" and admitted that when he awoke in the hospital, he wanted to try again—this time, "right." He later attempted suicide again by drinking a bottle of lemon Pledge, an action that ultimately led Small to rush him to the hospital and save his life.
"Even though our friendship was blowing up, Jon saved my life," Joel reflects. Small reflects on the heartbreak of their situation, noting, "He never really said anything to me, the only practical answer I can give as to why Billy took it so hard was because he loved me that much, and it killed him to hurt me that much. Eventually, I forgave him."
The documentary offers an unfiltered account of Joel's life, providing fans with a real, gritty look at the man behind the music.
Joel's past struggles played a profound role in shaping his career. Despite the turmoil that ensued, it fueled his creativity, leading to complex and poignant musical compositions. Billy Joel: And So It Goes will air on HBO in July.
- In the documentary 'Billy Joel: And So It Goes', the world gets a raw, personal look into the mental health struggles of the legendary performer, as he shares his experiences of attempting suicide twice in his early 20s.
- Science and health-and-wellness specialists might point out that such personal turmoil, rooted in a complex emotional situation like a love triangle, can have deep impacts on an individual's mental health.
- Today, Billy Joel, now 76, acknowledges the selfishness of his actions during his darkest times, and expresses gratitude towards his friend Jon Small, who despite their rift, rushed to save his life when Joel attempted suicide again, using an unexpected method involving a bottle of lemon Pledge.
