Navigating Grief: A Guide for Supporting Your Loved Ones
Overcoming Feelings of Powerlessness When Someone is Suffering: Strategies for Intervention and Empowerment
Grief can be a daunting, disorienting experience, and it's particularly challenging when someone we care about is going through it. It's natural to feel at a loss, uncertain about how to help. Here's a breakdown of what you might be dealing with and some effective strategies to help you be there for them.
The Predicament: We Don't Know What to Do
The most apparent reason for feeling helpless is simply not knowing what to do. When someone loses a job, we can't offer them a position. When someone loses a loved one, we can't erase that pain. So, we might not take any action, waiting for the perfect thing to say or do. Unfortunately, this inaction can grow into avoidance, as we worry we've made a mistake.
The Solution: We Can Act Now
The good news is, acknowledging the problem and taking any action, no matter how small, can make a significant difference. Call, text, email, or send a heartfelt sympathy gift. The smallest gesture can unlock doors to communication, comfort, and support. Reach out, even if it's been a while; your friend will likely appreciate just hearing from you. Remember, they need understanding and support more than a quick fix.
The Obstacle: We Resist Reality
"This can't be happening" is a common thought when someone experiences a significant setback. Perhaps they've lost their job, a loved one, or are grappling with a major life transition like menopause or divorce. Both the person in pain and those around them may struggle to accept what's happening.
The Pathway: Embracing acceptance
The only way to move past resistance is to embrace acceptance. Acknowledge what's happened, have open conversations about your struggles, practice radical honesty. Accepting the truth, even if it's painful, helps you and your loved one navigate this difficult time.
The Hindrance: Triggered by Our Own Fears
Our first instinct when someone else is hurting is often an emotional one: "What if it happens to me?" Fears of losing loved ones, jobs, or facing our own hardships can hold us back from supporting the person who truly needs it. Recognize these feelings and face them head-on, so you can be there for your loved one.
The Answer: Embrace Your Triggers
Accept that these worries are inevitable but the key is overcoming them. Acknowledge your fears, practice self-soothing, and remember that what's happening to someone else doesn't necessarily mean it'll happen to you. Focus on being present for your loved one and offer practical support when you can.
Life is unpredictable, and we often crave control over our circumstances. But attempting to control everything can lead to feelings of helplessness. Instead, embrace the moment, be mindful, and take action. Find joy where you can, and you'll be better equipped to help others do the same, particularly those closest to you.
Adam Mulligan, a psychology graduate from the University of Hertfordshire, specializes in mental health, wellness, and lifestyle.
Reference:
- [1] Worden, J. W. (2009). Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy: A Handbook for the Mental Health Practitioner (4 ed.). Guilford Press.
- [2] Knox, M. L. (2015). Coping with Loss: What Hospice and Palliative Care Social Workers Need to Know (3 ed.). Springer Publishing Company.
- [3] Neimeyer, R. A., & Evans, J. (2017). Competencies in Bereavement Care. International Journal of Psychology and Psychological Therapy, 26(4), 544-559.
- Psychology graduate Adam Mulligan, from the University of Hertfordshire, specializes in mental health, wellness, and lifestyle.
- Navigating grief involves acknowledging what's happened, having open conversations about struggles, and practicing radical honesty, as proclaimed by Mulligan.
- Mental health, wellness, and lifestyle are interconnected; by focusing on self-soothing and being present for loved ones, one can equip oneself to cope with grief and extend support.
