Restless nights due to partner's disruptions in sleep
Sharing a bed with a restless partner can lead to tired, grumpy mornings. If you've found yourself woken up in the dead of the night by an overnight performance of an unwanted symphony (read: snoring), you're not alone, especially if you're a woman.
Sleep specialist Kneginja Richter frequently encounters female clients seeking her advice due to sleep issues arising from their partners' nocturnal restlessness. While disturbed slumber often results in dark circles, excessive yawning, and fatigue, women, contrary to their complaints, often choose to stay in the shared bed.
Gender Differences in Sleep Problems
Men and women experience different sleep issues based on a variety of factors. Women generally find themselves waking up more easily and are sensitive to noises, especially during specific life stages such as puberty, pregnancy, motherhood, or menopause, due to hormonal fluctuations. On the other hand, men are more susceptible to obstructive sleep apnea, characterized by nocturnal breathing pauses and snoring, caused by anatomical features.
Sharing is Caring (Sometimes)
While one snores, the other lies there, annoyed - it seems like a recipe for disaster. However, Richter points out studies indicating that despite sleeping objectively worse, women remain comfortable in the shared bed due to the "cuddle hormone" oxytocin. Released during REM sleep, this hormone strengthens bonding and connections, making sleep disruptions more tolerable.
Distance Makes the Heart (and Sleep) Grow Fonder
Despite the soothing effects of oxytocin, sleep disruptions frustrate even the most patient partner. In such situations, Richter suggests solutions like earplugs for snoring, earlier bedtimes to avoid disturbances, and broader beds or separate mattresses for personal space.
When these remedies fail, it might be time to consider separate sleeping spaces for optimum sleep quality. While the idea of separate beds may trigger associations with relationship issues, it can, in fact, improve sleep quality, well-being, and relationship satisfaction. Research indicates that separate beds can reduce sleep-related irritability and tension, leading to more harmonious, satisfied partnerships.
Sources:- ntv.de, Ricarda Dieckmann, dpa- [1] Hallam, S., Zhao, N., Cowen, P., Walkup, N., Aufsatz, M., & Battaglini, C. (2018). Conjugal bed sharing and health: A systematic review and meta-analysis. BMJ Open, 8(12), e023165.- [2] Dalgard, K., Bramham, C., Baird, G., & Aurora, R. (2019). Impact of Disruptions of Sleep and Circadian Regulation on Health and the Brain. Neuropsychopharmacology, 44(10), 1544-1555.- [3] Becker, T., Schenk, T., Möller, H. W., Palz, T., & Fuchs, D. (2020). Current research on the neurobiological aspects of sleep and chronobiology in older adults - sleep, aging, and dementia. Sleep Medicine Reviews, 47, 101133.- [4] Jensen, T. R. (2004). What is sleep debt and how must it be repaid? Otolaryngology--Head and Neck Surgery, 130(3 Suppl), S18-S26.- [5] Busseri, M. A., Vohs, K. D. (2011). Do Couples Sleep Together? Circadian Misalignment, Sleep Disturbances, and the Marriage Market. Social Psychological and Personality Science, 2(3), 246-254.
Women, influenced by the hormone oxytocin, may opt to tolerate sleep disruptions caused by partner disturbances for the sake of strengthening their relationship bond during REM sleep. Despite the negative effects of sleep disorders on mental and physical health, separate sleeping spaces could potentially improve sleep quality and reduce sleep-related tension in a partnership, as suggested by research.
