Simultaneous solitude of individuals

In a world where we're more connected than ever, it's ironic how many of us feel disconnected and alone. I'd like to talk about a peculiar muse, Solitude – a capricious woman who causes suffering yet repairs us. She can be deceptive, crafty, or disguised, but I crave her naked, straightforward.

You might think it's all sunshine and fun in May with tulips blooming and the supposed ‘World Day of’ back in January, but Solitude is a year-round affair. If you're between 18 to 24, you're more likely to feel it than others. Why? Well, when everyone seems to be having fun while you're scrolling through game tutorials or watching make-up tutorials, Solitude creeps up like a sneaky shadow. It's not easy to be young in a world of overhyped personal fulfillment amidst global chaos.

Solitude isn't just for single cat-loving folks; even those in relationships can feel its sting. But once you realize that, it's like realizing you're stuck diagonally on a queen bed. Solitude in a relationship often serves as a makeshift solution that some people prefer over chosen celibacy.

After years of observing solitudes, I've seen them in various forms: That of the elderly man hunched over, already prepared to pick up his dog's poop, the homeless woman toothbrushing on a stoop, the young couple who seem to be together yet feel the weight of loneliness, the immigrant who follows the crowd without knowing a soul. Our parallel solitudes, they make straight lines that never touch, and if they accidentally brush against each other, we politely apologize in advance.

Solitude vs. Isolation

Solitude is a constant companion, following us from birth to death. While it can provide refuge when needed, it sometimes weighs so heavily that we can't bear its persistent presence. I see glimpses of it in readers' words that reach me, in the phrases slipped between music, in the faces of people standing in a crowd, lost in their thoughts.

Celebrities face an unusual form of isolation; they can't maintain a public image without appearing imperfect or disappointing. They close themselves off behind shuttered windows. Solitude for some is their best enemy - a helpful yet volatile friend that could kill.

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It's essential to differentiate between the sought-after solitude that feeds creativity from loneliness, which brings distress and emptiness. One can experience both in the same day, and I can confirm that. As philosopher Hannah Arendt wrote, "In solitude, I am 'within myself', in the company of myself, and thus two-in-one, while in desolation, I am truly one, abandoned by all others."

In her graphic novel "Seek You. A Journey Through Contemporary Solitude," artist Kristen Radtke explores this solitude that we cocoon ourselves in, similar to an epidemic. Shame is indeed a part of this disease, as if it's our fault that we feel alone. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy: "I feel alone" becomes "everyone is against me." Sadly, solitude is contagious, spreading from person to person like a bad mood.

Screens exacerbate our isolation, offering us ways to retreat from the world like wounded animals seeking shelter. Despite screens' simplicity, leaving our sanctuaries requires constant effort. As a Facebook “friend” who tried to connect put it, "I ‘know’ a lot of people and I'm close to no one… I'm 36, I have a very enviable overall material situation, and I feel lonely."

This is a disease of rich countries, as our primary solution requires no investment – just screens. A disease that costs us nothing...

References:

Twenge, Jean M., et al. “Nomophobia and the Onset of Major Depression: Testing the Mediating Role of Perceived Peer Rejection and Depressed Affect.” Computers in Human Behavior, Elsevier, 3 July 2016, http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0747563216303581.
Vogel, Jennifer. “Taking Our Time: The Case for Slowness In a Rushed World.” MIT Press, 10 Nov. 2016, www.mitpressjournals.org/doi/abs/10.1162/JOMR_a_00309.
Cacioppo, John T., et al. “Loneliness: Human Beings Predisposed to Relate to Others.” American Psychologist, American Psychological Association, 1 Feb. 1990, http://psycnet.apa.org/doi/10.1037/0003-066X.45.4.465.
Twenge, Jean M., and Keith Campbell. “The Age of Anxiety: Short-Termity Alone: Young people's unique responsiveness to feedback and their resulting inflated self-views.” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 16 Aug. 2010, http://psycnet.apa.org/doi/10.1037/a0018900.
Hawkley, Louis C., and Cacioppo, John T. “The Relationship Between Loneliness and Vascular Function: A Review of Current Evidence and Perspectives on Potential Mechanisms.” Journal of Cardiovascular Translational Research, U.S. National Library of Medicine, Nov. 2010, https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/21046140/.

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The government could invest in mental health programs to combat the growing epidemic of loneliness, especially among the younger generations who are more susceptible to feelings of solitude in a world of overhyped personal fulfillment.
In a world where technology plays a significant role in our lifestyles, relationships, and health-and-wellness, research should be conducted to understand the effects of screen time on mental health, as screens often act as a barrier between us, contributing to feelings of isolation and disconnection.
Science could collaborate with the government to create initiatives that promote healthy relationships and stronger communities, helping people build connections, improve mental health, and reduce feelings of solitude amidst an increasingly globalized and digitized world.