Urgent Cooking Solution: Necessity Spaghetti Carbonara
Straight-Talkin' Spaghetti Carbonara for Desperate Times
Sometimes, all you need is some booze, a bag of pasta, and a questionable late-night craving to whip up a tasty meal. Meet Desperation Spaghetti Carbonara, the easiest and most unpretentious spin on everyone's favorite Italian dish. Don't know your pancetta from your peas? No sweat - this recipe is designed for those who've got two left thumbs and an empty fridge.
- Yield: Enough to quell a crazed hunger
- Difficulty: Can't-be-arsed-to-care level
- Total: 20 minutes you'll never get back
- Active: 10 minutes because who needs patience when they're starving?
Booze 'n' Ingredients (7)
- 1 pound/454g dried spaghetti (go ahead and cheap out - it's not like it'll taste any better once you drown it in cheap cheese)
- 1 tablespoon (1/8 stick) unsalted butter (you'll find this hidden behind the old dubious cheese in the back of the fridge)
- 2 cloves of garlic, chopped like a brute (or minced if that's your thing)
- 1 cup grated Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese (or go for that block of parmesan in the back - it's all the same, right?)
- 2 large eggs, beaten like a rented mule (be careful not to overbeat, or you'll end up with scrambled eggs instead of carbonara)
- Freshly ground black pepper (don't forget this - it's what gives the dish its kick)
- Kosher salt, as needed (but let's be real, who actually has this?)
Instructions
- Fill a big pot with salted water and heat it up until it's boiling. No need to measure your salt - how much could it matter, really?
- Drop the spaghetti into the pot of water like a lifeline and set a timer for however long the box suggests. If you don't have a timer, just guess - close enough is good enough when you're desperate.
- While the pasta is cooking, melt the butter in a large skillet or Dutch oven over medium heat. Why not add a splash of that cheap, leftover cooking wine you've got stashed away? A little tipsiness never hurt anyone.
- Chuck the garlic into the skillet and let it sizzle until it's fragrant, which means something like a minute or two. Don't worry about taking it out - they say garlic burns quickly, but we're not exactly known for our attention span around here.
- When the pasta's nearly cooked, turn off the heat underneath the skillet. You don't want that garlic to keep cooking - burnt garlic is the bitter taste of regret.
- Drain the spaghetti (but don't you dare throw away that pasta water - we'll need it later to save this salvageable mess).
- Toss the drained spaghetti into the skillet and mix it up with the garlic and butter. Consider adding in some of that burnt, leftover garlic if you still haven't thrown it out - we're not trying to impress anyone here.
- Dump half the cheese into the skillet and stir it up like you're trying to save humanity. Once it's all melted and wrapped around each strand of spaghetti, give it a minute to meld with the garlic and butter.
- Pour in the beaten eggs and stir it up, taking care not to scramble the eggs (but let's face it, who doesn't love scrambled eggs?).
- Stir in the remaining cheese, black pepper to taste (remember, more is more), and just enough of that pasta water you saved (I usually use about a quarter cup) to create a creamy cheese sauce that coats each noodle like a comforting blanket. Toss it around for another minute, and give it a taste - if it needs salt, add some (but who the hell are we kidding?).
- Serve this creation of desperation immediately, because let's face it - it's not going to get any better. Enjoy every slurpy, cheesy, guilt-filled bite of this Frankenstein's monster of pasta dishes.
So there you have it - Desperation Spaghetti Carbonara. You know what they say: when life gives you lemons, make margaritas. When life throws a bunch of random crap at you, make this.
- This recipe, Desperation Spaghetti Carbonara, uses a pound of pasta, 2 eggs, 1 cup of Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese, garlic, butter, and cooking wine, all combined to create an easy and unpretentious Italian dish.
- The instructions for the recipe include boiling the pasta in salted water, melting butter with garlic in a large skillet, adding the cooked pasta to the skillet with half the cheese, pouring in the beaten eggs, and stirring in the remaining cheese, black pepper, and pasta water to create a creamy sauce.
- The dish is designed for those with limited ingredients and cooking skills, and is estimated to take only 20 minutes to prepare.
- This version of carbonara is intended for desperate times when quick and easy meals are needed, and is not meant to be a gourmet or sophisticated dish.
